On Being a Parent

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body". - Elizabeth Stone-

This blog post is about being a parent. In the iconic movie; The Breakfast Club, there is a classic quote: "You have to get a license for everything but having a kid". They prepare you for all things related to the birth.  We buy "What to Expect When You're Expecting". We follow all the "Rules", go to Lamaze, take all  of the courses. Then we are presented with a new life, a little human, that we are responsible for. Don't get me wrong, The birth of a child is probably the most amazing thing ever. (I personally cried like a baby when my firstborn was put in my arms.)By the way, I don't cry easily.

We do all of these things, and more for our children. It seems that we  get all of this information on everything we need to do before the birth, but, afterwards we are left on our own. No manuals, no "What to Expect"  when they are teens and know so much more than you. When they are little you find yourself saying things to your children that you didn't think you would say to another human. "Son, don't lick the T.V." I mean REALLY????? They are a source of endless pride and frustration.  I'm reminded of a t-shirt or bumper sticker  that said "Anyone with teenagers understands why some Species eat their young".  Yes, they can be that exasperating, but they can also bring the biggest joy from some random statement or action.

Having children is like rolling the dice. Sometimes we get snake eyes. Other times, we get seven. I'm pretty sure Jeffery Dahmers parents didn't look at baby Jeff and say "Gee dear, I hope this little guy grows up to be a serial killing cannibal". Can you imagine? Mr. and Mrs. Gates probably weren't thinking that lil' Bill would become a Billionaire. [Especially when he dropped out of Harvard to write computer code, "What's a computer?"] Regardless of the outcome, the best we can do as Parents is Love them, and try to instill a value system that will help them make the right decisions throughout their lifetimes. It's like [in another life] when I was training new Managers. I always told them that I could not teach them what to do in every situation. The best I could do is make sure that their "head was screwed on right" so they would have the resources to achieve the best possible outcome.

Of course they reach an age when they think they know EVERYTHING, and we parents are "dithering old fools" [Even if we are in our 40's]. Though this stage is painful, "let us not cast stones ", for we did the same thing at that age.  So, Parents, go forth and hope for the SEVEN or ELEVENS.