Am I getting old?

What's up with that random hair?

Growing older is a double edged sword. On one hand, you get "more comfortable in your skin". On the other, is all of the weird things that happen to your body. Things droop and get fleshy. [Is that a word?] Hair gets  grey or gone. Speaking of hair, I've had a revelation. "One does not lose hair, it merely gets transferred"[Mostly men]. What comes off of your head is not lost. It gets moved to your nose, ears, back, and butt. And let us not forget those random hairs that sprout up in the strangest places. It's almost as if our bodies have a genetic "Where in the World is Waldo??? game going on... 

There's a traitor amongst us...

[Background music. Mick Jagger singing "What a DRAG it is getting old"] That Traitor friends, is the body. Your body. My body. Every body. My mind says I can still do it, but my body "begs to differ".  Who knew that lifting a three pound bag of groceries out of the minivan could cause back spasms that last a week? Wasn't it just last month, that I was lifting "pony kegs " out of cars and toting them to various party venues at E.C.U.? Speaking of Alcohol. I've read that "Pot" is a lot stronger now, than it used to be, but when did they start making Alcohol stronger? I know they have. You can't convince me otherwise. My proof?[No pun intended] If they haven't made alcohol stronger, how is it that I can drink half as much as I used to, but feel twice as bad? Yeah, ponder that a minute.

Many examples of our bodies traitorous tendencies become evident upon visiting our Doctor. I'm not saying that there is any collusion between my body and my Doctor, but, I find it mighty coincidental that every visit nets a new prescription. I can't even eat breakfast anymore because I'm so full of pills. It starts out innocently enough. At first, the doctor "recommends" a multi vitamin, and while you're at it maybe one aspirin for good measure. Next visit, the "Doc" suggests that the ole' blood pressure is too high. Another pill.

Those first three pills are like the clickitty clack of the Roller Coaster as it climbs that first big hill of the ride.  Next thing you know, high Cholesterol. Boom. Another pill. Triglycerides out of whack. Pill. Restless Leg Syndrome. Pill.  Acid Reflux. Pill. Anxiety about all this. Pill. Nausea from all the pills. Pill. Not being able to "perform" for the once a month sex allotment. Blue Pill.

Oh, I forgot to mention the pills for the back spasms. So, is it just me? Or, does anyone else see a pattern here? I know I sometimes see things a little "differently", [Don't even get me started on the Hallmark Card Company and Lawyers...] but, something is going on.

The End 

I could go on for days, but It would probably be better to stop before I forget where I parked my "Rascal Scooter".