On Being a Parent

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body". - Elizabeth Stone-

This blog post is about being a parent. In the iconic movie; The Breakfast Club, there is a classic quote: "You have to get a license for everything but having a kid". They prepare you for all things related to the birth.  We buy "What to Expect When You're Expecting". We follow all the "Rules", go to Lamaze, take all  of the courses. Then we are presented with a new life, a little human, that we are responsible for. Don't get me wrong, The birth of a child is probably the most amazing thing ever. (I personally cried like a baby when my firstborn was put in my arms.)By the way, I don't cry easily.

We do all of these things, and more for our children. It seems that we  get all of this information on everything we need to do before the birth, but, afterwards we are left on our own. No manuals, no "What to Expect"  when they are teens and know so much more than you. When they are little you find yourself saying things to your children that you didn't think you would say to another human. "Son, don't lick the T.V." I mean REALLY????? They are a source of endless pride and frustration.  I'm reminded of a t-shirt or bumper sticker  that said "Anyone with teenagers understands why some Species eat their young".  Yes, they can be that exasperating, but they can also bring the biggest joy from some random statement or action.

Having children is like rolling the dice. Sometimes we get snake eyes. Other times, we get seven. I'm pretty sure Jeffery Dahmers parents didn't look at baby Jeff and say "Gee dear, I hope this little guy grows up to be a serial killing cannibal". Can you imagine? Mr. and Mrs. Gates probably weren't thinking that lil' Bill would become a Billionaire. [Especially when he dropped out of Harvard to write computer code, "What's a computer?"] Regardless of the outcome, the best we can do as Parents is Love them, and try to instill a value system that will help them make the right decisions throughout their lifetimes. It's like [in another life] when I was training new Managers. I always told them that I could not teach them what to do in every situation. The best I could do is make sure that their "head was screwed on right" so they would have the resources to achieve the best possible outcome.

Of course they reach an age when they think they know EVERYTHING, and we parents are "dithering old fools" [Even if we are in our 40's]. Though this stage is painful, "let us not cast stones ", for we did the same thing at that age.  So, Parents, go forth and hope for the SEVEN or ELEVENS.

Egypt. Revolution 2.0

History was made today with the successful Revolution of the Egyptian people. Thirty years of the Mubarak Regime has ended.  Israel and the rest of the world are now trepidatious as to what is going to be the outcome of Egypt's new government.  Will Egypt become the Democracy that they say they want? Or, will some radical Islamist group co opt the movement to take control? Will the Military really act as a stabilizing force while Egypt creates their new Democracy? Or will they end up with Mubarak 2.0?

I choose to believe that the Egyptians will achieve their Democracy. They are too educated, too smart, too proud, and too patriotic to fail. They have an arduous road ahead of them . There will be many trials and tribulations, but make no mistake, there is no going back. They have tasted freedom and realized their own self worth. Now that the Genie is out of the bottle, there is no putting it back.

All of this poses a dilemma for the U.S. and the rest of the world. Especially for the U.S. because we were founded as a Democracy. We believe in Democracy. We want the rest of the World to be Democratic. But, the U.S. has been supporting a regime that has not been Democratic for thirty plus years. The Egyptian people know this. It is a glaring example of the hypocrisy  of our government and even the American public.  We play lip service to peace in the world, as long as it doesn't interfere with the price of oil or cause us any economic hardship. The ironic thing is that is America is made up from all of the immigrants from all of the countries that we war with, don't care about, don't support, give aid to, defend, hate, love, et al... Our system of Government is not without its' flaws, but, I haven't seen, or heard of a better one. The compelling thing about Democracy is its innate nature is to be a form of governance that provides the populace with a voice, hope, and Liberty. [Or at least the illusion of...]

It is my hope for the best for the Egyptian people. They have accomplished an amazing thing. Americans with a knowledge of their[our] own history can see the parallels. It is my hope that regardless of any rhetoric, the Egyptians will view America as their ally. Though this may take time, I believe America will continue to be an ally with [a newly Democratic] Egypt. After all, one of Americas' best allies is England.

Though it started most recently in Tunisia, YOUR example will be the one that the Middle East and other non democratic countries around the world will use. It seems as if Algeria will be the next to follow your example, maybe Syria will beat them. Interesting things happening in Iran, Libya, and I'm not ruling out Saudi Arabia. [This one is more of a long shot though]  

So Egypt, go forth, and shape your Destiny. I believe in you, and I know you have what it takes to achieve your dreams. After all, if we could get everyone to believe that we all want the same things. The world would be a better place.

[Wael Gohnim, those of us non Arabic speakers who follow you, would love to see your FB and Twitter posts in English also. I know you prefer to remain "behind the scenes" and don't want to be the "voice" , but your insight and intelligence really provide a fuller perspective to the events unfolding ]

Soapbox. My "Short Bus" has reached its' destination???

[Cut and Pasted]From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"A soapbox is a raised platform on which one stands to make an impromptu speech, often about a political subject. The term originates from the days when speakers would elevate themselves by standing on a wooden crate originally used for shipment of soap or other dry goods from a manufacturer to a retail store.

The term is also used metaphorically to describe a person engaging in often flamboyant impromptu or unofficial public speaking, as in the phrases "He's on his soapbox", or "Get off your soapbox." Hyde Park, London is known for its Sunday soapbox orators, who have assembled at Speakers' Corner since 1872 to discuss religion, politics and other topics. A modern form of the soapbox is a blog: a website on which a user publishes one's thoughts to whomever reads the page."

So, WELCOME TO MY SOAPBOX!!! Lately, it has occurred to me that my awareness of the world has been changing as I reach middle age. (At least I HOPE it's my middle) The "World" of my youth, the one I just KNEW, was mine for the taking, has slowly decayed to the "World" of my hopefully middle age. [Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that it is a bad thing, and this is not some manifesto to the world before I jump off a tall building.] My "World" now, has proven to be much more complicated now that I have come to grips with the fact that I really don't know EVERYTHING! My "World" now is so much deeper. Even deeper than when I realized my Parents really were right. [Insert Homer Simpson, DOH!!, here] So deep, that when I see the fresh faced youth of today, I can only think of it like a scene from some war movie. You know the scene: Grizzled veterans of too many battles watching as the new recruits go marching into the war. The vets shake their heads knowing that some will be "cannon fodder" in the war of life.

I can honestly say that at this point in my life I am at peace with my place in the "World". But, as I've gotten older (wiser??) it seems that the "World" is getting scarier. Which leads me to question: "Is it getting scarier? Or am I just now realizing that it has always been scary, and my "Short Bus" has reached its' destination?" Regardless, I will continue on my journey, sending dispatches from my soapbox, along the way.

Egypt. Hypocrisy. And I'm Really not that angry

On Jan. 25th I wrote my FIRST blog post. In it, I referenced the Jasmine Revolution in Tunisia, and mentioned that unrest seemed to be fomenting in Egypt. Well, "All Hell has broke out" in Egypt. I watch in fascination as events unfold there, and also, most all of the other countries I mentioned.

I like puzzles. I like to figure out how things work. I even like to figure out why things are the way they are. All of the events happening in the Middle East right now have got my mind working in overdrive. It almost feels like playing chess with six different players, simultaneously. But, (there's always a "BUT") instead of thinking that you are playing six individual games at once, what you're really doing is playing all six as one, with an almost unlimited number of outcomes based on the action/reaction of any, or all. It's almost impossible to explain all of the if's, then's...

What this situation in the Middle East really does, is expose our hypocrisy as a nation. We tell the world that Democracy is the way, (It IS) but we support rulers/autocrats that make our lives easier and help keep the price of oil low, regardless of the liberties that they deprive their people of. Here's a heretical thought, LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEN LET'S SUPPORT THEM!! Many/most of the demonstrators in Egypt are well educated and aware of the world around them. They have access to the internet, social media, and mass media not controlled by their governments. They are aware. Yet, we are scared that some radical Islamist group will take control and we'll have to pay more at the pump. I believe the people of Egypt will get their freedom. I also think they will be a friend to America, or at least I hope so. Either way, it is THEIR choice, and if we truly believe in Democracy, we will support their choice.

So, America. Do we promote democracy, and lend a hand to those who strive to it? Or, do we only support other peoples goals as long as it doesn't interfere with the price of gas, or put Israel in jeopardy? Let's be honest, we Americans would not give a "crap" about Egypt, or the Middle East, were it not for oil. They would probably give a "crap" about us, if we weren't involved with Israel and trying to keep things "just so". (Hell, the majority of Americans couldn't even point Egypt out on a blank map of Africa. ["And we wonder why much of the world hates us."])Some people might. But, they are the same people trying to make the world understand the atrocities going on elsewhere in the world, like Darfour. (Don't get me started...) 

Bottom line... No matter what. I believe that, we humans; no matter of race, creed, or religion, all want the same basic things. Life. Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But unfortunately, right now, (I think[We Americans]) care more for our pets, than we do for our fellow Americans/Man. Most Americans, upon stumbling upon a homeless person with an emaciated dog, would show more compassion and empathy for the dog, than they would for their fellow man. But that is a whole other post...  Good luck Egypt...

(P.S. "Can somebody help me down from my Soap Box now???)