Some Randomness...

[This post was written by a Highly Motivated inebriated  me, a couple of weeks ago...]
    Is it just me, or does it seem that Mother Nature has been pretty ANGRY lately? In my 44 years, I know that I have not always paid the greatest attention, BUT, Mother Nature seems to be really PMS-ing of late. Mississippi flooding, Tornados everywhere. Funky Thunderstorms... Earthquakes, Tsunami's(???) and the icing on the cake is that NOAA has just predicted an especially vigorous HURRICANE season. Now, as I recollect, it seems we experience some major "WEATHER INCIDENT" every year on this planet. But, what I don't recall is it seeming to happen everywhere at almost the same time. Maybe those "DAMBASSES" got the whole Armeggedon/Rapture thing just a bit early. I still see the same people. I know that in my small circle of friends, I was not expecting any of THEM or ME to be rising to Heaven this past Saturday... But... What about the cashier at the Mini-Mart where I get gas and the occsasional "Scratch off"??? Or the mailman? Or the "mean ass bitch" at the DMV??? SURELY, SOMEBODY I come into contact with must have been "lifted" into HEAVEN. But, alas, NO. [I guess somebody needs to get a new calender... I'd be willing to bet that some BRAINIAC has developed an APP that we can download that will give us a countdown to "THE END"

Have I ever mentioned that most of the Worlds' Evils can be traced DIRECTLY back to a consortium of "Big Pharma, Lawyers, and the Hallmart Card Company"??? And don't get me started about the MASSIVE SOLAR FLARE [C.M.E to all you Nerds] that will come and knock out ALL electricity and "Kick" us back to the Stone Age, or at least 1920 something... [That part is real. Google "Solar Weather", "Solar Katrina", or C.M.E.. If you read what I did, you'll be a little worried too.]

[A continuation of an alcohol fueled rant...]

Why don't people use their f'ing turn signals? Ever notice that other than the normal dumbasses, the people who don't use turn signals are talking on their cell phones???

I like Gallegar's idea. Every driver has a gun with rubber sticky bullets with little flags that say "Idiot". You shoot the little flag at the offending idiot driver. The police automatically stops and tickets any car with 3 or more flags. [3 citations = DEATH PENALTY]

Why do feminist bitches get so angry when a male holds a door for them?

Why can't politicians just do what is "RIGHT" as opposed to currying favor or going with the party line?

Things NOT to say:
To the person x-ray scanning bags at the Smithsonian: "Sir, do you have a knife in your bag?" "You've got the freaking x-ray. You tell me...."[It was a little Swiss Army Knife that fits on a key chain]

To your woman: "Yes. Your BUTT looks big in those pants."

To the Traffic Cop: "Yes, I know how fast I was going. Seeing that you have radar, and you stopped me, you must know too. Is this a test? You're not going to look in the trunk are you???"

To the Highway Patrol Occifer who asks you to recite the ABC's backwards: "Dude, I can't even do that sober"

And lastly,[for now]
Why do people tell you: "You can't do that..." when you just, DID DO THAT???